Tale of a Transfer and 9dp5dt

I can't believe my transfer was already 9 days ago and I haven't written about it.  Have I mentioned I'm exhausted?  I went to bed at 7:00 last night, got up to do my pio injection and then went back to bed.  The only thing keeping me up right now is that I have to give myself my pio injection (hubby is in class) in an hour.

Anyway, on to the transfer story...

Hubby had to be out of town on Wednesday (he's the only one who does his job so didn't have much of an option).  So we decided to call my parents to tell them what we were doing (they didn't know) and to ask for their help.  My dad told me they would cancel any plans they had and drop everything to help out (how cute is that?).  I asked my step-mom to take me and I immediately got a text from her saying she was 'honored, excited and so happy'.

Wednesday morning I woke up and ran a couple of errands before heading to acupuncture at 10:30 a.m.  Around 11:15 I arrived at my parents house.  My dad met me in the driveway and gave me a big hug and told me how excited he was.  When I walked into the house, my step-mom was wearing a purple shirt and commented on my purple shirt -- saying purple means June babies!  Apparently she had been doing her research!  I took my Valium and started drinking water.

We got to the clinic a little before noon and my favorite nurse called me back.  I got changed into the gown, footies and hair guard, and my step-mom got changed into scrubs, footies and hair guard.  At this point, my bladder was really full, so Katie, the nurse, told me to find a happy medium as the doc hadn't arrived back from surgery yet, so there would be a wait.  I was able to relieve myself a little bit and headed back to the transfer room.  My step-mom and I sat and chatted for about 20 minutes until Dr C. arrived.  During this time Katie also gave my step-mom the list of instructions/restrictions for the 2ww, so my step-mom read them to me.  I read the list later and giggled a little  when I realized she had skipped some of the instructions -- like no sex during the 2ww.

Dr. C came in and told me we would be transferring one "perfect" embryo and I asked if that was the only one that survived to day 5.  He said yes, but that it was perfect so he had a good feeling.  He gave me a picture and we were off.  Before I knew it, Katie was showing us the ultrasound monitor and where the embryo was being placed.  She printed out a picture for me to keep of the placement.  And yes, my bladder was REALLY full according to the ultrasound!  I had to lay there for another 30 minutes, and then we were allowed to change and leave.

My parents had decided it would be a good idea for me to spend the night at their house, since hubby wouldn't be home until Thursday night.  I was hesitant, as I think the last time I stayed overnight with my parents was when I was in college!  It was great though -- I really didn't lift a finger to do anything for all of Wednesday and Thursday morning.  My step-mom had even gotten me some chicken noodle soup from Costco -- so I would have comfort food.  (If you live near a Costco, you MUST try this soup)

Late Thursday morning they brought me home and I continued on strict bed rest until 10:00 Friday morning when I had another acupuncture appointment.  The rest of Friday I laid low and hung out on the couch as much as possible.

It was great to be home, and even better to have hubby home late Thursday afternoon.  My cat was pretty pissed off at my during my time at home.  He loves it when I lay on the couch and he lays on my chest/stomach.  I wouldn't let him do that of course, and so he refused to lay anywhere but at my feet -- he was NOT going to cuddle next to me.  Luckily he has warmed up a bit since then, but still lets me know often how unhappy he is.  Sorry kitty, but you are 16 pounds and I've got precious cargo in my ute.

I am so thankful for my parents and how wonderfully supportive they have been through this process.  My dad and step-mom didn't get married until I was in college, so she and I have never been super close.  It meant so much to me that she was able and willing to be a part of this process with me and if this results in a grandbaby, their relationship will be so very special!  I'm not going to lie -- I have really missed my mom so much the last 6 years during our infertility struggles.  It was really nice to have these special moments with my step-mom.

Beta is early next week.  I'm feeling remarkably calm, although I can feel the anxiety creeping in.  Symptoms come and go, and I really feel like it could go either way.  Honestly, I have tried not to picture anything other than it working as an option.  There have been many BFPs among the bloggers I follow, and I am hoping to add myself to that rank as well.

Thanks again for all of your thoughts, prayers, and positive vibes!  They are all very much appreciated!

4dp5dt

I plan to still write about the transfer story, but honestly, don't have it in me tonight.  After 2 days of strict bed rest and 1 day of taking it very easy, hubby and I went out of town for the weekend.  We went to a town about 2.5 hours from home and did some sightseeing of Frank Lloyd Wright houses in the area and stayed at a lovely refurbished FLW hotel.  Today we met up with the rest of his family for our niece's birthday party.  We always go to a one day only pumpkin patch which was fun as always.  I thought it wise to skip the hay rack ride this year!

So here's a random rundown of where I'm at...

• Right now I am feeling very calm during this 2ww.  My beta is still a week away but I am not anxious at all.  I'm sure that will come as the week goes on.  But for now, I feel peace.
• I will not be testing at home before the beta.  When my beta is positive I will pee on all sorts of things.
• I've actually lost weight during this process.  Not a lot, but a few pounds.  My appetite has been weird.  From retrieval to transfer my stomach was quite upset and especially meat just had no appeal. I'm feeling better now, but am trying to feed my body healthy, whole foods as much as possible.  Yes, I have eaten lots of pineapple (as well as the core) and am trying to eat an avocado every day/every other day.
• My boobs are so sore -- SO SORE! I'm not sure I'm going to be able to sleep on my stomach much longer.
• I gave myself a pio injection in the car at the drive-in movie theater on Friday night.  Hubby, who was sitting next to me, asked me when we got home if we needed to do my shot.  When I told him I had already done it, he hadn't had a clue!  
• As of today I am 100% exhausted.  We got home about 5:30, I laid down and slept for about an hour, and I am STILL exhausted.  
• I feel like I am peeing all of the time!  I'm trying to stay well hydrated. I would, however, just about do anything for a Diet Mt. Dew right now.  
• I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow after having 3 days off last week.  Ugh...
• My cat is very pissed at me because I won't let him lay on my stomach/chest.  It's one of our rituals at night -- I lay down on the couch and he comes and lays with me.  Until Friday he was so mad at me he refused to lay anywhere but at my feet.  Friday he finally came around and cuddled up next to me.  Sorry kitty!
• I do have to say that every time I sneeze, cough, blow my nose or even go to the bathroom, I have visions of our embryo being pushed out.  I know that's impossible, but still hard to not think about.  
• I've got a runny/stuffed up nose which stinks.  Luckily nothing else...hoping it stays that way.  We had a 40 degree drop in temperature from Wednesday to Saturday so I'm hoping it is just from that and will go away very soon!  Loading up on the Vitamin C!
• I'm feeling lots of twinges and pulls, especially on the left side of my stomach.  The left ovary was the overachiever, and based on where she put the ultrasound wand during transfer, I think my uterus is located more on the left side as well.  These twinges make me happy.  
• I'm on twitter!  You can find me at jjs_journey.  If you are on twitter, let me know how to find you!  
• I found this interesting chart of what happens every day post 5 day transfer... http://www.nyufertilitycenter.org/ivf/embryo_transfer

5-Day Transfer

Days Past Transfer (DPT)	Embryo Development
One	The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Two	The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Three	The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Four	Implantation continues
Five	Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Six	Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Seven	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eight	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Nine	Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

I've been a bad commenter lately and am working on catching up.  

Thanks again for all of the well wishes and positive thoughts and prayers!

I am PUPO

This will be short as I'm not on a computer, but we transferred one "perfect" embryo today.  Those were the doctor's words.  In the picture they gave me it appears to be beginning to hatch.   They even gave me a picture of my uterus with the embryo in it.  We do not have any to freeze.  

Thanks again for all of your support, thoughts, and prayers!

I Can Hardly Sit Still!

By this time tomorrow I will be PUPO!  Tonight I had a massage to help me relax (I'm a very type A personality).  My transfer is at noon, so tomorrow morning, I'm just going to do some little things to keep myself busy -- go to the chiropractor, maybe get an oil change, go to acupuncture, and then settle down with a nice little Valium.  I have tomorrow and Thursday off of work, and then am scheduled to work from home on Friday, though I may decide to take a PTO day instead.

Thanks ladies for all of your love and good wishes!  Between the egg retrieval and now has been a bit tougher than I anticipated.  I got very bloated and sore, and now I am having a spasm in my back.  And my tummy has just generally been icky feeling.  I also haven't heard anything about our embies since Saturday, and I just wonder how they are doing.  I guess I will know soon enough.  (Yes, we do know how many fertilized, but since we haven't had an update, I'm going to wait until tomorrow to talk more about that).

I thought hubby was going to cry on Saturday night when he gave me my first PIO injection.  He did a great job and it really didn't hurt at the time, though it was sore afterwards.

More tomorrow!

More on Yesterday

Thank you to all of you for your support, especially on my last couple of posts -- I cannot express to you how grateful I am for your words of love, encouragement and advice.

As I mentioned last night, egg retrieval went very smoothly.  I spent the morning relaxing and we arrived at the clinic at 9:45.  I got to change into the lovely gown, footies (I was wearing the heart socks sent to me by one of my Braces Bunch friends), and hair cover (why are those gowns so darn big?).  I sat down in the recliner with hubby next to me and the IV was started.  Did I mention my favorite nurse was my nurse?  Katie's simply awesome!   She also went over the details of what we need to do between retrieval and transfer on Wednesday.  My clinic only does 5 day transfers.

I asked if I could take my headphones back to the retrieval room with me and was told yes (I was expecting to not be able to).  At this point we were just waiting for Dr. C to show up.  He showed up a few minutes after 10 and came in to see if we had any questions.  We didn't and I said 'Let's do this.'   He said "Just give me 2 good eggs to work with -- the rest is gravy."  Katie gave me some of the relaxation drugs and she and another nurse walked me back to the retrieval room.  

I laid down on the table and they immediately started covering me with blankets -- including wrapping each of my legs in separate blankets which I thanked them for in my drugged up state.  They spent some time cleansing my lady parts, asking me to lift my butt up and down and scooting down further.  Katie told me there were about to start and told me to let her know if I wanted more drugs at any point. I think something was said about exfoliation which frightened me a little bit.  Before I knew it wandy was put in and I was feeling the extraction, which was quite unpleasant.  So I asked Katie for some more of those drugs and that is the last thing I remember.  

I woke up around 11:30, laid back in the recliner in the recovery room.  I'm  embarrassed to say I woke myself up snoring!  Luckily we were the only retrieval yesterday morning. Hubby and Katie were there and Katie told me we got 8 eggs, which she said was great.  I asked how I had gotten back to the chair from the retrieval room and was told I had walked.  Um yeah, don't remember that at all!  Hopefully I didn't say anything too incriminating during this time!  Katie asked me about pain -- I had none really and then took out my iv.  

Hubby came into the bathroom with me to help me get changed and Katie marked 4 lovely spots on my tush for the progesterone shots, which start  tonight.  We headed home, getting some food on the way, and then I made my home on the couch, where I slept off and on until about 4:00.  

Yesterday and today I have felt pretty bloated and sore.  Not really crampy, but can definitely feel that there was trauma in that area.  Some light bleeding yesterday, but that has ended.  Today I'm taking it easy again. Tomorrow I am getting together with my best friend which will be awesome!

While I was initially disappointed about the 8 eggs, I am choosing to look at it very positively.  Given the news of my AMH and FSH earlier this year (AMH was under 1 and FSH was over 10), and my advanced maternal age (I hate that phrase) I felt like the clinic was sort of writing me off on producing much of anything.  I'm no longer a spring chicken ya know!

I went into this fully aware that the whole process could be canceled at anytime -- if I wasn't making any eggs, if fertilization didn't occur, etc -- and I feel extremely blessed to be this far with eight lovely eggs that may turn into my rainbow baby. While some might consider me a pessimist, I really feel that I am an realist and like to be prepared for the best and worse case scenarios. I will not take any part of this process for granted.  I'm trying to not Dr. Google too much. 

So now we wait until Wednesday for transfer.  Please continue to send your good thoughts and prayers for growth of the embryos!

Egg Retrieval

Went well today.  We got 8 eggs.  Of course I was hoping for more, but am very happy.  Feeling sore and very bloated.  Progesterone shots start tomorrow...any tips?

More tomorrow when I am on a real computer and not the iPad.

Good night!

Tomorrow is a No Shot Day

That can only mean one thing...I've been triggered!  Just minutes ago I gave myself the two trigger injections, following a fantastic appointment today.  But let me back up.

Monday when I got the phone call to keep doing stims and that I didn't need to be seen again until Wednesday I was a bit defeated. The nurse I saw didn't really tell me anything and was pretty brutal with ole wandy.   I was pretty certain this meant I wasn't progressing as they would have liked.  So I contacted my acupuncturist Lindsey (who specializes in fertility), and went for a visit.

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling bloated and by the end of the day I had to unbutton my pants.  Tuesday night I got together with my infertility peer group (also started by the wonderful Lindsey).  These ladies are amazing and everyone is in different places in their journeys.  Much like this blog, it is nice to have other ladies who understand what I am going through and can offer advice, stories and hugs.  Last month we couldn't stop talking and before we knew it two hours had passed.  This month Lindsey set a timer so we would stay at an hour and we still went long.

This morning I went into my appointment feeling hopeful (and bloated) and really grateful for everyone who is cheering for us and praying for us.  Lab draw was first and she put the needle in and nothing came out.  So she moved it around a bit and still nothing.  This has NEVER happened to me.  So I am now sporting lovely bruises on both arms.  She felt horrible, but I told her in the end, if it results in a baby, I would forgive her!

Next was the ultrasound with a nurse I hadn't ever met before and she was AWESOME!  She explained everything to me, gushed about how everything had grown a ton since Monday, and that my lining looked perfect.  PERFECT!  She felt 90% certain that I would be triggering tonight and gave me all of the instructions for what to do.   Of course, she still had to wait for lab results before a final determination was made.  She assured me that if my retrieval was Friday, she and the nurse who has been my "case manager" would be by my side for the entire retrieval.  I left feeling really great and hopeful.

A couple of hours later she called and left me a message with directions and to call her back.  When I did, she explained everything in detail and answered every question I had.  Generally triggers happen 35 hours before retrieval, but mine was actually 37 hours as they think the trigger will help some of the smaller follicles mature and grow to the right size.

So that's it -- retrieval is set for 10 a.m. on Friday (we have to be there at 9:45) and that means transfer will likely occur next Wednesday.

EEKS -- this is really happening!

Still Growing...Still Injecting

Went in for another ultrasound and lab work this morning.  Things are progressing and more eggs sacs are showing themselves.  I did not get a call to tell me to change my protocol (based on estrogen levels) so we will assume all is well and keep on keeping on.  I go back in the morning for another check.  At this point I am guessing retrieval will be Thursday or Friday and I am optimistic for 8 - 12 eggs.

Right before I got called back for the ultrasound, someone who works for the same organization as me walked into the waiting room.  Then as I left the lab, someone I know quite well from a volunteer board we serve on was in the waiting room.  Can we say awkward?  I mean, really, what do you say in a situation like that?  Hi?  Oh are you here for monitoring?  An IUI?  What are you doing the rest of the day? Nice weather isn't it?  I stuck with the basic 'hi" and headed out the door.  We are a pretty big metro city, and there is only one fertility clinic with 2 docs, so I guess it is bound to happen.

I've got a pretty bad headache today and am generally just feeling down.  I'm sure it is because of the unknowns -- how many eggs will be retrieved?  How many will fertilize?  Will any of them make it to day 5?

Wishing you all a great week!

ICLW

If you are visiting from ICLW -- welcome!  It seems like just a week or two ago it was the August ICLW.

Here's the backstory;
Welcome ICLW friends!  Here's a brief synopsis of our journey.  Been trying to conceive for almost 6 years, taking a very conservative path.  Slightly low sperm numbers, but didn't find anything else was wrong.  Did 3 IUIs -- all BFNs.  Did several months of Femara. On a natural cycle in 2010 we got pregnant and at 7 weeks miscarried.  Tried (and continue to use) lots of alternative/natural treatments including chiropractic, acupuncture, supplements and diet changes for me.  I lost some weight.  Still nothing.  This winter we received news that my numbers had changed for the worse and it looked like my egg reserve might be getting low (I don't put a lot of faith in numbers so have a hard time believing this).  Even though it was against everything we had ever said we would/wouldn't do, we decided to proceed with IVF.  Two days before the cycle was supposed to start my husband backed out.  I was heartbroken and we started couples 
counseling.  That was 3 months ago.  

Here's where we are today:
In mid-August my husband said he was willing to give IVF a try.  

• On August 23, I began daily birth control pill and a testosterone gel
• On September 7, hubby and I began antibiotics -- 1 for him, 2 for me
• On September 12 I completed the bcp regimen and traded the gel for a testosterone patch
• On September 14 I had my suppression check and learned to give myself injections
• From September 3 - 17 I spent a lot of time on the phone with two mail order pharmacies, trying to get all of my meds and insurance in order.  I am so thankful to have insurance, but the pharmacies were a challenge to work with.
• September 17 I began twice a day injections and immediately started feeling things happening in my belly.  
• September 21 (today) I had my first monitoring ultrasound and labs
• Retrieval should occur sometime between Wednesday and Friday next week, with transfer 5 days later (my clinic doesn't do 3 day transfers)

The appointment today overall went well.  I was much less nervous for this one than for my one last Friday.  I have decided that for now, I am not going to mention numbers on my blog (number of egg sacs, lab results, number of eggs retrieved, fertilized and transferred).  I may change my mind at a later date, but for now, I just need to keep this info internally.  It is so hard not to compare and drive myself crazy wondering if the number should be higher/different/etc.  The truth is, it only takes the perfect combination of 1 egg and 1 sperm to make our take home baby and THAT is my focus....along with staying relaxed.  I will say the number of egg sacs seen today was not as many as I had hoped for, but the nurse seemed pleased, and said there were likely some we couldn't see.  I go in again Sunday morning.  The nurse told me my doctor will be there on Sunday to do the ultrasound so looking forward to that.  

Tomorrow I am going to go to the library to get some books to read during my retrieval recovery and bed rest after transfer.  Other than that and some light cleaning, this weekend is about relaxing and staying positive.  

Thanks for all of the good thoughts and prayers you have been sending my way!  Please keep them coming!  

First Casualty

My daily schedule changes on a regular basis.  I don't have a normal 8 - 5 type of job.  Most days I get to work at 7:30, so I decided I would give my morning injection (stims) at 7 a.m figuring that would be about the time I was leaving the house.  As fate would have it, I've had several morning meetings this week (unexpectedly).  Tuesday I gave the injection to myself in my office.  Today I gave it to myself in the car (parked of course).  There was a small casualty though.  As I was injecting using the Folli.stim pen, it slipped out of my fingers and was hanging from my tummy. Instant bleeding and bruise, which, as the day has progressed has turned into a bump and deep purple bruise.  It is truly impressive.  Luckily, I was able to regain my composure and stick myself again to deliver the meds.

Tomorrow I have a meeting at 6:45, so I guess I'll have to excuse myself to the bathroom and come back.  Oh adventures!  

Friday is my first monitoring appointment.  Please, if you are willing, please say a prayer and/or send good thoughts my way.  I definitely feel action happening in the belly area and last night my jeans felt tight already.  I hope that is good news.  

I'm feeling pretty good actually, other than the sore belly, which I planned for.  My emotions so far have been stable, which was my biggest concern (I think it was hubby's biggest concern/fear as well). I've had a slight headache off and on, but it is harvest time (and we live by a field) so it could be from that too.  I'm super tired -- feel like hibernating -- or at least taking a nap by mid-afternoon.  Not sure if that is the drugs, the cooler weather, the dark mornings, a crazy work schedule or something else.  I simply cannot wait for the weekend!  I actually feel better on the stims than I did on the antibiotics!  

I've been a horrible commenter lately.  I'm reading your blogs, just having a hard time commenting through blogger.  I intend to also catch up on that this weekend.