Ultrasound Eve

Tomorrow is the day...our first ultrasound. I will be 6w6d. To say I'm freaked out is a bit of an understatement.  This two week wait has been brutal.  I just want to see a heartbeat and know everything is okay.  

This is where we found out we lost our first pregnancy. We never got to hear that lovely sound.  

I talked about this with my therapist yesterday, and we discussed how this pregnancy is already so different from last time.  Last time I spotted nearly non-stop.  This time I've been blessed with no spotting (knock on wood).  Last pregnancy my numbers were low.  This pregnancy they are very high.  Last pregnancy I just knew something was wrong.  This pregnancy really feels like we are going to have a baby in June.  For real.  

But this does not dull the fact that tomorrow I will walk into the same ultrasound room where two years ago at exactly 7 weeks we cried tears of sadness over our impending loss.  It's going to be hard and emotional.  But I truly believe that tomorrow we will cry tears of joy over whats to come.  My therapist told me I need to acknowledge the difficult thoughts and emotions, but be in the moment.  I'm going to try my hardest.  

I have no doubt that things are cooking down there.  So far for symptoms:

• Unbelievably sore and large breasts with big blue veins popping out.  Sometimes I look down and am shocked thinking "who's boobs are these"?  As someone who has never been well endowed, I'm enjoying the extra oomph!  
• Exhausted....as in I want to take a nap at my desk most days.  I'm generally in bed shortly after my 9 p.m. PIO shot, but my body seems to think I need to be wide awake again at 4, after peeing several times during the night.
• Bloating.  By the end of the day my pants feel tight.  One of my coworkers asked me yesterday if I was losing weight.  Ummmm, nope -- did you notice the tight pants?  Thank goodness for fall/winter clothing that I can camouflage my belly with.
• Nausea.  I'll take nausea when I wake up for $200 Alec.  Oh wait, morning sickness isn't just in the morning?  I haven't thrown up yet, but have been awfully close and have definitely wished I had so I would feel better.  I find I can't eat a lot at a time and some foods are just off limits.  

While these symptoms are annoying at times, I would not change them for anything because they help me know that something is happening down there, in my tummy.  I haven't had some of the usual early symptoms like peeing all the time & constipation (thanks to my daily probiotic).  

I'm working with the fabulous Suzy from Not a Fertile Myrtle to set up a new blog to keep all of my pregnancy info and share it with family and friends.  More details on that to come.  If anyone has a great idea for a new pregnancy blog name, I'm open to ideas.  My creativity is lacking these days!

Thank you ladies for all of your congratulations and words of encouragement!