Thank you ladies for all of your thoughts, prayers and kind words today. Our appointment went as well as could be expected for a first appointment. It was really just a lot of fact gathering -- no decision making or getting deep into things. We both liked the therapist, he was very low-key and as hubby said "a man of few words". We will go back on the 20th for another appointment. While I want to have resolve sooner than later, I realize this has to happen through baby steps. It just doesn't help my anxiety to have it drag out...
Unfortunately, my therapist was sick, so I did not get to have my appointment with her. I found this out just as I was leaving for our couple's session and I have to say it sent me into a major meltdown. I am so frustrated because I waited 5 weeks for this appointment with her and am now being told I have to wait another 4 for her next first available opening, but they will put me on the cancellation waiting list (which I was on for the last 5 weeks with no cancellations). This is unacceptable to me and I have a call into the clinic manager to see what he can do. I'm not sure I can wait a whole month longer to process my own thoughts and feelings with my impartial therapist.
I'm thinking of "running away" by myself for a couple of days next week. Husband is aware of it and seems supportive. I am so stressed out with all of this and an amazingly stressful time at work that I feel like if I don't have some downtime I am going to literally fall apart. I feel like I don't know who I am right now. Now I just need to get the courage up to ask for the time off of work (there's already one person on our team on maternity leave - oh joy!) so it's tight. I love my husband, my friends, my family and my co-workers, but I really just need some time to process the events of the last 6 weeks and work on finding myself again.
In other news, blogger doesn't seem to want to let me comment on blogs tonight.
Thank you again for your love and support -- I really don't know what I would do without you ladies!
JJ
That's crap about your therapist. I think it's time to look for a new one! How can you feel supported by her if you can't ever get in to see her? It's just ridiculous! I think taking a couple of days away for yourself is a great idea if you can get the time away from work and all. It's important to do things like that for yourself when you feel you need it. It doesn't mean that you don't love the other people in your life, it just means that you need to show yourself some love. Resolve just did a teleseminar yesterday titled Self Love is not Selfish. The podcast of it should be available in a week. I didn't get to participate, but I thought it was a great subject to talk about.
ReplyDeleteThanks Meggola for the tip on the teleseminar and for making me feel okay about leaving for a few days all by myself (my husband keeps asking me if I am going to take a friend -- ummmmm...nope, that sort of defeats the purpose!). Hope you are well
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ReplyDeleteGlad you are planning some time away. It sounds like you really need it. I'm sorry your therapist couldn't see you yesterday and hope that you can get an appointment soon. Hope you can lean on your friends at this time. Certainly, we are all here to 'listen.'
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.