On This Day

Yesterday we celebrated our niece's birthday in the same way we have done for the last 10 years -- by going to a local fall festival.  It's always on the first Sunday of October, and for me, brings back so many memories of our TTC journey.  

2006 -- we had just started trying to conceive the month before by throwing out the BCPs.  I was so hopeful that by the next year I would be pregnant during this celebration.

2007 -- still trying...oh Clomid you are a nasty nasty drug...

2008 -- still trying...with a couple of IUIs thrown in for good measure...

2009 -- still trying...with a couple of IUIs and some good old Femara thrown in just for fun... 

2010 -- pregnant with a surprise BFP one week before.  Was so careful not to go on the hayrack ride or do anything too strenuous like holding one of our nieces.  Four days later I miscarried.  

2011 -- still trying...losing hope...

2012 --  PUPO -- five days post 5 day transfer of our only surviving embryo during our only IVF cycle. Praying for a miracle and holding onto hope.  

2013 -- E's first trip to the festival with us at almost 4 months old.  My heart is so full. 

2014 -- E's so much fun this year at the festival -- at 16 months old, she is walking, talking and charming everyone.  She has her auntie and nieces wrapped around her finger.  She loves the hay rack ride and petting the horses the most.  

2015 -- Our surprise baby boy (conceived without ART), A, turns 10 weeks old on the day of the festival.  Our family is complete.  My heart is exploding with love.  

Two

The number two seems to be the theme of my life right now...

• Unfortunately, I may only have 2 people who follow me anymore as it has been so long since I have written.  I'd say I will be better, but I can't make that promise.  I still follow all of your blogs -- I'm just not good about writing mine...
• E turned 2 this week.  What a challenging and beautiful age.  She is so talkative and learns something new every single day.  But she also is very stubborn (I'm sure she gets that from her father) and impatient and very opinionated.  Our biggest challenges right now are dinner time and bed time.  The best moments are hearing "hug momma hug" or "I love you momma".  In the last month I survived hubby and my's first trip away from her (first time we've both been away overnight).  She stayed with her aunt and uncle for 4 days and did so great.  I meanwhile, cried all the way to the airport and once I got to the hotel.  I also survived my first long work trip away from her -- three whole nights.  Again, she did great, but it broke my heart to hear her cry every night when we said "good night" on the phone.  
• Two jobs.  For the last several years I have worked my primary job and then also had a secondary job one evening a week teaching a class for at least one to two semesters of the year.  This fall was the last semester I committed to doing this.  This is a good thing as since last August I have really been doing two jobs as part of my primary position.  It is busy and challenging most days, but I still feel very blessed to be able to have a day off every two weeks to spend extra time with E.  We are also very blessed by the wonderful daycare/school she goes to.  
• Two months from this Saturday I will turn 40. Enough said.
• Two lines.  Last November I thought my period started and then it promptly stopped after about a half day (it is usually 7+ days).  And it didn't come back.  Finally, a week later, I took a pregnancy test and immediately got two lines.  Excitement and fear ensued, as the last time I started my period and then stopped and realized I was pregnant ended up in a miscarriage.  So trying not to get my hopes up too high, I went in to my OB/GYN (going to the RE clinic just made me too anxious) and painfully had to wait until the next morning for the results.  The results were solid at 9000+, and two days later were 17,000+.  Knowing my history, my OB clinic was great and got me in for an early ultrasound at 6 weeks where we heard an amazing heart beat.  So long story short, while some people struggle with secondary infertility after having their first child, hubby and I apparently were blessed with secondary fertility, after it took us 6 years and IVF to conceive E.  As I sit here I am 32 weeks and am watching and feeling baby moving like crazy.  It has taken a long time to set in for us that it is truly happening (many days I still can't believe it) and we feel so fortunate to be in this place.  (the back story is that I had visited my RE about a month prior to have blood work and a day 3 ultrasound done as my period had been odd since it returned in June and the results were shocking.  My AMH had gone up, and my FSH had gone down. Both, along with the other labs, were within normal range.  I asked how this happens and he had no answer for me.   My follie count was good for being 39, and he basically said we could try some less invasive procedures -- i.e. medication with or without IUI -- we never got to that point)
• 12:22 a.m. -- there are too many twos in that number, especially since my alarm is set for 5:30 a.m.  Time to try to shut off the brain and go to sleep.  Good night!