Oh I've Missed You...A Confession

Today is CD 1.  The good news is in about 28 days we will be off and running on our first and hopefully only IVF cycle.  The bad news is there is only one more month to conceive a "miracle IVF baby".

Ever since we decided to do IVF about 2 months ago, I have been trying to be as healthy as possible.  I'm trying to stress less, go to acupuncture, go to my chiropractor, meditate, etc.   I've also cut down on excess sugar, eat limited dairy and carbs, and have cut out caffeine.  I try to eat one dark leafy green salad each day.  And so far, other than an occasional weak moment of needing french fries, I've done overall pretty good.

The hardest thing to give up for me has been Diet Mountain Dew.  I never have drank a lot of it -- 20 oz or less each day, but I had some everyday.  It's been 5 weeks and 3 days since my last Diet Mt. Dew, or any pop for that matter (do you find it funny that because of IF, we count our weeks and days this way?).  And I still crave it EVERYday.  It's not the caffeine, but the taste.  I struggle with sticking to water, but I want a baby, and will do whatever I have to.

So onto the confession part...I gave in tonight.  I've had part of a bottle of Diet Mt. Dew.  It's been a bit of a rough week so far.  Hubby has been gone a lot lately for work, and when he was home earlier this week we had a fight about...yep...IVF/IF.  Work has been super crazy.  My emotions are frazzled and I am tired all of the time.  Oh, and did I mention that it is CD 1 today?

So I gave in.  And I'm frustrated with myself.  I know it's silly to upset about something so trivial, but it makes me mad I gave in.  That I didn't have the willpower to make it 5 weeks and 4 days.


  1. Oh weird. I just did a blog post about how I caved in on something I promised I wouldn't do... and I'm on CD1 today as well! It must be something to do with our hormones hehehe. Well done on keeping your willpower to last 5 weeks and 4 days! Very impressive. Don't get too upset with yourself for 1 diet drink, you're doing so well with everything else that you deserve a treat every now and then!

  2. Don't be upset with yourself. I know it's so hard not to feel like you failed something you were trying to do, but sometimes it's just OK to give in a little and treat yourself.

    As for the caffeine -- during the first half of stims for IVF, I was in the middle of one of the most stressful lack of sleep times I'd ever had at work and I was a caffeine fiend. I thought for sure I was ruining it all. But, it worked. So, I say, if you need it, drink it!!! ;)

  3. Don't beat yourself up. You are doing great. My therapist always reminded me that babies can be made under the most extreme circumstances so that one pop won't matter. Congrats on doing it this long! I feel the same way about caffeinated coffee but have been fighting it pretty well but if a bad day should fall into my lap, I'm having that cup of coffee!

  4. The IF process (and especially the IVF process) will do that to you. Sometimes you just need to do the things that will get you by at the moment...Moderation is key...My RE even says a glass of wine or a little bit of caffeine wont hurt you if the reason that you need it is bc of high stress...You have to pick your battles.
    Good luck this month!

  5. Don't beat yourself up over it...we all have our moments.

    This is completely out of left field...but what drugs will you be using for your IVF? I have leftovers from my cycle in January and I'm looking for a self pay patient to give them to.

    1. Amy -- I will have to look at the list and let you know. Will get back to you.

  6. I just nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award on my blog!


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