Thank you ladies for all of your thoughts, prayers and kind words today. Our appointment went as well as could be expected for a first appointment. It was really just a lot of fact gathering -- no decision making or getting deep into things. We both liked the therapist, he was very low-key and as hubby said "a man of few words". We will go back on the 20th for another appointment. While I want to have resolve sooner than later, I realize this has to happen through baby steps. It just doesn't help my anxiety to have it drag out...
Unfortunately, my therapist was sick, so I did not get to have my appointment with her. I found this out just as I was leaving for our couple's session and I have to say it sent me into a major meltdown. I am so frustrated because I waited 5 weeks for this appointment with her and am now being told I have to wait another 4 for her next first available opening, but they will put me on the cancellation waiting list (which I was on for the last 5 weeks with no cancellations). This is unacceptable to me and I have a call into the clinic manager to see what he can do. I'm not sure I can wait a whole month longer to process my own thoughts and feelings with my impartial therapist.
I'm thinking of "running away" by myself for a couple of days next week. Husband is aware of it and seems supportive. I am so stressed out with all of this and an amazingly stressful time at work that I feel like if I don't have some downtime I am going to literally fall apart. I feel like I don't know who I am right now. Now I just need to get the courage up to ask for the time off of work (there's already one person on our team on maternity leave - oh joy!) so it's tight. I love my husband, my friends, my family and my co-workers, but I really just need some time to process the events of the last 6 weeks and work on finding myself again.
In other news, blogger doesn't seem to want to let me comment on blogs tonight.
Thank you again for your love and support -- I really don't know what I would do without you ladies!